Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Random Updates

A few updates just to let the world know that the poop goes on.

Michelle Wie Still Sucks

In the Samsung World Championship, Michelle Wie was once again allowed to play with real golfers due to another sponsor's exemption (not sure how many tournaments she has now entered on this exemption, but I'm sure it has to be an unbreakable LPGA record by now). She placed 19th of 20 golfers, only 13 strokes away from 18th place and a mere 36 strokes off from the lead. It's nice to see she consistently chokes regardless of which gender she is going up against.

Her agent has dropped her, saying "After careful consideration for my future, I have resigned effective immediately."

One less rat on that sinking ship.

Photo: Michelle Wie's father skulking around the golf course. Creepy little fuck, ain't he?

My advice to Michelle is to take the 20 million dollars you conned out of your sponsors last year and declare independence from your idiotic father. This guy has ignored the advice of agents and professional golfers such as Tiger Woods and pushed you too hard and too fast. She can't go anywhere without his domineering presence. He doesn't know golf. He doesn't know shit.

Dragon Wars Conquers Hollywood
  In only its 5th week in hundreds of theaters across America, Dragon Wars continued to wow hundreds of Korean-Americans (and a dozen or so Caucasian boyfriends of Korean-Americans) in theaters across America, raking in over $71,000 at the box office last week. This brings the total earnings in American theaters up to nearly 11 million dollars, which almost puts it in the same league as other sci-fi greats such as Battlefield Earth and Howard the Duck. Hollywood has now officially become director Shim Hyung-rae's playground. 

Racing Model Billiard Championship 2
The first Racing Model Billiard Championship 1 ended a month or so ago. I can't remember all the details, but the girl with the outstanding rack completely dominated the girl with the great legs to take the championship.

So one might think that we'll just have to wait until next year before we can see prime cleavage shots of models bending over pool tables in the next Championship, right?

Wrong, my friend.  The  second Racing Model Billiards  Championship has already begun, with the first rounds played  on the 16th of October. The girls seem to be all new and the outfits are a bit skimpier this time around. For those wondering if the quality of play has improved at all since the first championship, please reread the previous sentence and stop asking stupid questions.

The only down side is that they show the games late at night around the same time that the J Channel from Japan shows the 'Golden Bikini' competition (Japanese girls in bikinis compete in games such as 'breast wrestling' to see which girl will win the golden bikini prize). On top of that, the channel from China quite often shows porn movies after hours as well. 

Now you all see why I haven't been blogging so much lately.

More updates to come...eventually


Sunday, August 12, 2007

Racing Model Billiard Championship

This is a sport I really would like to see catch on. Some geniuses over
at the Xports channel have rounded up the hottest racing models, put
them in their usual skimpy outfits and got them bending over pool
tables in a billiards tournament.

As for how well the girls play pool, let's just say the quality varies much like the movies of director Shim Hyung Rae.

I expect the Xports channel to be running this competition frequently
and replaying some of the more classic matches for the next 11 months.

Fav  This is a big turning point for women's sports. For years we've seen female athletes with a lot of potential like Michelle Wie and Anna Kournikova subject to extreme discrimination in the sports world simply because they have no actual talent. In the backwards world of current women's sports, for every Maria Sharapova, there are ten Christina Kims. This is so wrong I don't even know where to begin.

But now the tide is turning against this prejudice.  I hope to see the racing models move into other sports in the very near future.

Friday, July 27, 2007

Super Junior's Supper Happy Gay Video


Perhaps I was too quick to pronounce Dong Bang Shin Gi as the brightest flamers in the K-pop world. An alert reader made me aware of this you tube video. Watch it with someone you love.

Original Post

Since there doesn't seem to be much in the news these days over here in Korea, I thought it would be a good time to update my loyal viewers on the latest happenings in the Korean Pop world.

The new single from Super Junior that you all have been waiting for is finally out. It's called  행복. The obvious English translation for that word is 'happiness', but of all the English words that share that meaning, the word 'gay' might have been a better choice to capture all the major themes in the video.


This video (click here to see it) is great because it just shows the Super Juniors as real people, not some big shot egotistical music stars. Just like your normal Korean male teenagers, they wake up in the morning, put on their hot pink pants one leg at a time, spend several hours getting their hair primped  and their lipstick, eye-liner and rouge just right, go to the gym and play all sorts of giggly-fun games with each other and sneak in a little kiss on the cheek every now and then if they feel a bit saucy.  See here for more Super Junior fun.

Yeah, the kids are alright.

For those of you who read this blog who are not familiar with Korea, this is a very fair representation of the average male Korean teenager. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.  Oh sure, they all wear their school uniforms in public, but when they get home they all head straight for their pink shirts and make up and take turns doing each other's hair. Every single one of them. No exceptions. Not one.

LuvyduvyIf by chance you think the Super Juniors have what it takes to replace Dong Bang Shin Gi as the Big Kahuna's of the Korean Gay Wave, I present this video from the Dong Bangers for your consideration. Warning: not work safe, nor is it particularly 'home safe' either (not the kind of video you want your family or friends to catch you watching).

The real entertainment begins when you read the comments below the clip and see their fans try to deny that there is anything gay about that video. Ah, got to love the cute little innocents.

A question for all of you to ponder. Why is that Asian girls get off on gay guy love while their western counterparts would vomit profusely if forced to watch these kinds of videos? What are the long term ramifications of a whole generation of young Asian girls attracted to boys who look more feminine than they do? Are these not questions that demand answers? 

Selected Comments from Previous Blog


Whackin' that gay hornet's nest again, I see.

Posted by: jag | July 27, 2007 at 04:50 AM

Ryan Seacrest just said "Holy shit that's gay!"

Posted by: iheartblueballs | July 29, 2007 at 02:29 AM

I wish SES made videos like that. I'd be all over Bada and Eugene touching each other and making goo-goo eyes at one another.

Posted by: Brian | July 30, 2007 at 01:51 AM

More Crudder! More Cru...oh wait. Wrong blog.

Posted by: Hugh | July 30, 2007 at 07:41 PM

Blueballs: Ryan Seacrest is not gay. It was Simon Cowell who sucked off Ryan, not the other way around, so stop with the slander.

PS. Get a blog already. I'm tired of having to scroll down for your comments over at Marmot's Hole. Otherwise, I'm considering cutting and pasting your comments over at Marmot's on to my blog and claiming them as my own.

Brian: Considering the levels of slutitude female Korean pop singers are already lowering themselves to, your wish may soon be granted.

Hugh: To be confused, even temporarily, with the great Ed Crudder is indeed an honor. The man is a model for all expats in Korea.

Posted by: partypooper | August 01, 2007 at 01:05 AM

I correctly predicted that the guy shaving would kiss the other guy and leave some shaving cream on his cheek. Do I get a prize?

Posted by: Brian | August 01, 2007 at 05:20 AM

That video is fag-tastic.

Bum-suk: "I'm going to shower"

So-hung: "You wanna me to wash your back?"

Bum-suk: "No, I wanna you to do a dirty sanchez, felch, teabag, and rusty trombone on me. Then we lucky pierre with Yu-suk."

Posted by: Yes, It's a Gigantic Panda | August 02, 2007 at 05:58 AM

Even the fat guy is gay-pretty now.

Posted by: Paul | August 02, 2007 at 08:49 AM

I often read your blog and am entertained by your hilarious exaagerations, but then I ran across this. You are not exaagerating one bit here nad it scares me.

Those guys do not qualify for penises. I want to find them and use a machete to do their transgender surgery. I would just be worried they would try to hit on me.

The danger of having an entire generation of girls grow up in love with guys gayer than them, is that they will enter college, realize that they want a real man and find someone outside of Asia. Sorry all you Korean men.

No wonder these male she-bands are so scared and try everything to get out of military duty. I can only imagine the ass-whipping they get from real men in the military. Imagine if one of these fags was your tae-kwon-do partner. You would bust him up.

I can only say amen to the commenter above who wrote: "I wish SES made videos like that. I'd be all over Bada and Eugene touching each other and making goo-goo eyes at one another." I loved SES before they broke up. This producer needs to get SES together and produce their videos again. I would go for a free hug from Eugene or Pada.

Posted by: Faggots Gather Here! | August 02, 2007 at 05:53 PM

"Imagine if one of these fags was your tae-kwon-do partner. You would bust him up."

Just so you know 2 members of Super Junior - Sungmin and Hankyung know martial arts. lol It'll be sad day when a gay man beats -your- ass.

Posted by: Huzzah | August 02, 2007 at 07:30 PM

OMFG !!!!
OH NO !!
OMFG !!!!
OH NO !!

[original comment repeats the same message about 50 times. That's just how angry little polly is]

Posted by: polly | August 03, 2007 at 05:06 AM

On a more serious note, I find this whole "jupki" gay-joke thing to be pretty offensive in light of the fact that if any one of those guys actually did come out and say he was gay the same fans who laugh and giggle at his gay-streak now would no doubt toss him aside like a bad piece of meat.

Just like Hong Suk-chon, it's OK to act gay for laughs... but hell comes down on anyone who actually is gay.

Posted by: Brian | August 03, 2007 at 06:06 PM

Polly, Polly, Polly. Although I'm not human (I'm a Giant Panda) I could still split you like cordwood and make you squeal for more. So don't swear at us if we make fun of fairy Korean guys with too much makeup.

Posted by: Ultra-Suave Panda | August 04, 2007 at 03:14 AM

I'm TVXQ and SuJu fan but I'm deeply amused with your writing :D ... Lol actually I'm one of the fan that ........really hopes that they're really gay ahahahaha~ XDDDDDDD

Please write more. Wanna see those immature fans react about this things... LOL

Posted by: Amused | August 07, 2007 at 08:32 AM

i think you have a death wish.

Posted by: sheesh | September 01, 2007 at 01:58 AM

First of all, Asia has a very different outlook on life than the West. They value delicacy and feminism in all genders. What is right and normal? It depends on the person who views it. Just because most people in America do not view it in the same way because of their upcoming does not mean this type of outlook is wrong. Is getting steroid-pumped muscles the right perspective? Why can't people respect each other's cultures? Why is there a need to force our opinions on others?

Posted by: Why? | September 04, 2007 at 06:11 PM

What you see in these videos is NOT how are Asian men and culture. These boy bands are simply gay. I don't know what's wrong with their fans that they can't see that.

Posted by: sentosa | September 05, 2007 at 09:41 PM

Don't you know? Gay guys are the new 'in' thing. Don't bash them just because they get more than you.

Posted by: lol | September 08, 2007 at 03:54 PM

These videos are parodies on their own fame. Artists like TVXQ and SuJu know how they're portrayed to the general public and play up to it because the fans like it.

Posted by: idek | September 08, 2007 at 04:00 PM

I am so glad I found this lol You are very very wise. That video was gay in so many ways...It seemed like the song didn't quite match up so I made this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I10GyYzawss

Posted by: Anrui | September 16, 2007 at 09:47 PM

Stop! Stop! You're making me horny........................

Posted by: Leone | October 02, 2007 at 02:02 PM

People, you're missing something extremely key here: these guys don't control their own images. They didn't form a band to express any kind of identity. They are treated like marketable products, trained and owned by their management companies. These groups are chosen when they are teenagers and their images are dictated to them by their management company, SM. Everything they do is overseen by their company, which is specifically packaging them for a female audience.

Now let's think of girls (and women) in Korea and the kinds of men they are used to seeing. Times may be changing, but there are still a lot of misogynist men in Korea. These "pretty boys" are the polar opposite of the militarized, soju-drinking, room-salon-frequenting men who spit all over the streets. Girls are drawn to them for this reason, and that is why SM portrays the boys this way. These guys may hate doing these things, for all we know. But they have no control over it. We need to recognize that their images may not reflect who they really are at all.

The DBSK video comes from a 1-hour drama in which part of the plot involves Jaejoong mistakenly thinking that Yunho likes him. Jaejoong freaks out every time Yunho touches him. And of course the writers put in lots of moments of them touching each other partly because it's funny to watch Jaejoong squirm and partly because the fans go crazy over it. At the end of the drama, it turns out that it's all a misunderstanding and everyone is straight. But this means that the fans get to watch the boys touch each other for an hour. It's called fanservice. So this video doesn't indicate anything about whether there are gay people in Korea. (Although I'm sure there are gay guys who enjoy it.) These boy bands are marketed to girls, so if it says anything, it is about what SM thinks will attract girls. And it seems to be working.

Now, about the difference between Asian girls' attraction to this gay image and Western girls' repulsion to it, I think it's because of the idea (from Japanese manga) that gay relationships are more "pure" because they are loving each other despite societal pressures, not because of them. Whereas in the West (and I think in actual Japanese gay culture), gay culture has developed to be overtly sexual, these portrayals of male-male relationships, which are marketed to women, focus more on love. That's a big difference from common Western portrayals of gay men.

Don't quote me on this; I'm not an expert yet. But this is my perception given what I know so far.

Posted by: huncamunca | November 19, 2007 at 09:40 PM

^ Yes, it's called "fan service" in short. The idea is that some gay time on screen gets the girls to go crazy, and it ought to be familiar to those who watch stuff like anime.

DBSK aren't gay. Some of them, in truth, are more muscular, and taller too, than the average expat calling them flamers.

Posted by: bluesblue | November 20, 2007 at 10:26 AM

So if being tall and muscular can be seen as evidence that a band isn't flamingly gay, then where does that leave the Village People?

Posted by: fanservice | November 20, 2007 at 12:30 PM

I'm a little upset about the insinuated gay-bashing present throughout both the youtube comments of the videos and in this discussion. What's wrong with acting gay? Or being gay? It doesn't make you any less of a man. And acting like a girl doesn't equal being gay. And being gay doesn't mean it's all about sex. I'm gay and I love emotional gay love stories.

I echo what Brian had to say, the real sad thing is that it's alright to pretend to be gay but not to be really gay. Thankfully those attitudes are changing though.

Posted by: Terhi | December 27, 2007 at 03:53 AM

Super Junior's Super Gay Video


Perhaps I was too quick to pronounce Dong Bang Shin Gi as the brightest flamers in the K-pop world. An alert reader made me aware of this you tube video. Watch it with someone you love.

Original Post

Since there doesn't seem to be much in the news these days over here in Korea, I thought it would be a good time to update my loyal viewers on the latest happenings in the Korean Pop world.

The new single from Super Junior that you all have been waiting for is finally out. It's called 행복. The obvious English translation for that word is 'happiness', but of all the English words that share that meaning, the word 'gay' might have been a better choice to capture all the major themes in the video.


This video (click here to see it) is great because it just shows the Super Juniors as real people, not some big shot egotistical music stars. Just like your normal Korean male teenagers, they wake up in the morning, put on their hot pink pants one leg at a time, spend several hours getting their hair primped and their lipstick, eye-liner and rouge just right, go to the gym and play all sorts of giggly-fun games with each other and sneak in a little kiss on the cheek every now and then if they feel a bit saucy. See here for more Super Junior fun.

Yeah, the kids are alright.

For those of you who read this blog who are not familiar with Korea, this is a very fair representation of the average male Korean teenager. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Oh sure, they all wear their school uniforms in public, but when they get home they all head straight for their pink shirts and make up and take turns doing each other's hair. Every single one of them. No exceptions. Not one.

LuvyduvyIf by chance you think the Super Juniors have what it takes to replace Dong Bang Shin Gi as the Big Kahuna's of the Korean Gay Wave, I present this video from the Dong Bangers for your consideration. Warning: not work safe, nor is it particularly 'home safe' either (not the kind of video you want your family or friends to catch you watching).

The real entertainment begins when you read the comments below the clip and see their fans try to deny that there is anything gay about that video. Ah, got to love the cute little innocents.

A question for all of you to ponder. Why is that Asian girls get off on gay guy love while their western counterparts would vomit profusely if forced to watch these kinds of videos? What are the long term ramifications of a whole generation of young Asian girls attracted to boys who look more feminine than they do? Are these not questions that demand answers?

Monday, July 2, 2007

Rain US Tour Cancelled

A bit of mysterious trouble for our favorite 'World Star' Rain. Several weeks ago his Honolulu concert was canceled just a few days before scheduled date. Rain didn't show up to a press meeting, which ended up being used by his promoters to announce that the concert was off. No reason was given for the cancellation and ticket holders were told they could get refunds for their tickets.

The final sentence in that article:

Promoters would not say how many tickets were sold. The venue would have been set up to hold a crowd of 20,000 to 25,000.

Oh what a mystery! The concert is abruptly canceled without any reason
and promoters are not willing to say how many tickets were sold. Local promoters have apparently filed a lawsuit.

A Rain concert in Toronto which was to be held a few months ago was also canceled, and promoters were unable to give refunds. This is from the first link above:

Lee, South Korean representative for the promoter of a Toronto concert
that was also canceled, said at the press conference that he has not
been able to refund money to Canadian ticket-buyers, since he has not
yet been reimbursed for his $250,000 deposit.

"And it's been 40 days since the cancellation," said Lee.

Translation: You've all been screwed. Thanks for participating in the Korean Wave.

And why was the Toronto show canceled so suddenly? Apparently there was no official explanation given. Five minutes of intensive Internet searching didn't come up with any solid information, but I did stumble on a blog which claims that Rain canceled the show because the stage was too small. I guess they didn't figure this out until after the venue had been booked and tickets were sold. That could happen...I guess...

The San Francisco, New York and Atlanta concerts were canceled because they faced a copyright challenge in Nevada (There is another band in the States called Rain). However, that was thrown out of court last month and there isn't any word on rescheduling those concerts.

And now the LA concert has been canceled as well just a few days before the scheduled event. The reason this time?

The Saturday night show at the Staples Center
was called off "due to issues related to the show's production,"
according to a statement from Rain's promoter, V2B Global, posted on
the Staples Center Web site.

'Issues related to the show's production'...what could that possibly mean? Why so vague?

So basically the entire North American tour has been canceled for various excuses reasons.

Hey, and didn't Rain's manager just quit suddenly about a month ago without giving any specific reasons?  Hmmm.......

That's just a bit too much coincidence. I've come up with several theories that could possibly explain this strange series of events.

A. Rain's management is profoundly incompetent.

B. 'World Star' Rain isn't even popular enough among Asian-Americans to sell enough tickets to have a concert outside of Asia. 

C. Rain injured his wrist in a jogging accident several months ago, but will be back to his full strength sometime...soon...

D. This is all a part of a greater conspiracy to keep the Korean super-mega star down.

I don't even have to check the Naver discussion boards for this, the answer is clearly D. What would happen to the North American music industry if it got out that there is an Asian singer who can imitate such legendary acts as Justin Timberlake and Usher? How could the West handle the painful truth that no matter what kinds of acts we produce, 1-3 years later Asians can come up with their own version that is kind of almost as good (sort of)?

Comments from previous blog


Hey! You wouldn't make fun of Bi if he was an American performer like Carrot Top or Wayne Newton, you racist! You ex-pat ESL burger flippers are just jealous of Bi's talents! Like wearing one glove and walking backward! Name one U.S. performer who ever did that!

Posted by: Pawi Komerican Super Han Man | July 02, 2007 at 10:20 PM

I wore one glove and walked backward many times. But I'm not going to tell you my name, because you might be a stalker.

Posted by: One U.S. Performer | July 03, 2007 at 12:52 AM

"Hey! You wouldn't make fun of Bi if he was an American performer like Carrot Top or Wayne Newton, you racist! You ex-pat ESL burger flippers are just jealous of Bi's talents! Like wearing one glove and walking backward! Name one U.S. performer who ever did that!"


Posted by: littlebrownasian | July 04, 2007 at 04:29 AM

Toronto promoter's statement of how they got ripped is here, Hawaii tells a similar story:

In L.A. the concert was actually canceled just before show time with fans waiting outside the Staples Center.

Lots of good reading here in the comments section:

Posted by: rainedout | July 05, 2007 at 03:34 PM

I live in Hawaii (leeward Oahu) and the local talk radio station covered this for a few minutes, er seconds. According to the station (AM830) only about 1,500 to 2,000 tickets were sold. Not sure how many were the $300 (for crying out loud!) variety.

Posted by: Matt | July 07, 2007 at 09:48 PM

I sat next to a guy on the plan last week who was one of the guys who picked Rain up from the airport in Los Angeles and had something to do with his entourage.
The fans were told that he was sick. Truth was that the venue was less than half sold-out, and he didn't want to perform to a small audience.

Posted by: joe | July 09, 2007 at 03:49 AM

The fans were told the L.A. Fire Marshal or some inspector shut down the show at the Staples Center because some of his stage equipment wasn't certified under U.S. safety standards.

Basically Rain's tour promoters from Korea have been running this schtick on the North American tour of getting paid the fee from the local promoters, then right before the concert they complain that the local promoters' are not doing an adequate job of getting the staging just right etc. Then they cancel out and refuse to refund the fee to the local promoter.

Posted by: rainedout | July 09, 2007 at 01:14 PM

Sweet. Bi will remain the thousands of miles away from me the way he should be.

Posted by: Angel Wings | July 09, 2007 at 04:57 PM

Carrot Top, Wayne Newton, and Rain: the Bi-list.

Posted by: Brat | July 12, 2007 at 07:54 AM

people remember,
just becuz you dont like them doesnt mean asia doesnt like him.
if you hate him so much then stop reading about him.

Posted by: park hae man | May 01, 2008 at 10:09 AM

FUCK RAIN! i bought 3 tickets for the toronto show, and its been more than a year now, i still havent got my money back!! he is nothing but a son of a bitch that robs money! i want my money back, my money doesnt fall outta the sky! fuck him!

Posted by: k | May 20, 2008 at 10:16 PM

I didn't get my refund back either! I'm so mad! And I cannot find the promoters anywhere. I'm sure they are lurking around somewhere in Toronto. They totally ditched their office and the site is down too. I would never buy from these promoters or from Rain again! It may not be his fault but I'm sure he should know how bad the concert management has been.

Posted by: A | June 01, 2008 at 09:19 AM

Sunday, June 17, 2007

Foreign English Teachers = Criminals


According to the investigate TV show Pandora's Box,  more than 45% of ALL foreigners teaching in Korea are drug users or violent criminals. 

Some choice selections from the transcript:

불법 외국인 강사, 그 실태는?
국내 4만여명의 원어민
강사 중 절반 정도가 불법이라면 믿을 수 있겠는가. 그 중 90퍼센트 이상이 마약이나 폭행 등의 범죄자들이라고 한다.

[We can believe that half of the 40,000 foreign teachers in Korea are here illegally. Of that over 90% are said to be drug users or violent criminals.]

No sources for those statistics, but I'm sure they are right that someone at some time probably did say something like that, so that's good enough for me.

Here's another statistic for which I can't be bothered to provide a source: 80% of all Koreans will happily slurp down any anti-foreigner bullshit the Korean media dishes out, no matter how ridiculous. 

Let's read on...Cd_sexualpredator

위험! 그들의 접근 방식

이들은 주로 감언이설로 순진한
외국어를 배우러 온 한국 여성들에게 접근한다...처음에는 남자친구인양 행세를 하지만 곧 이들이 원하는 것은 성관계라는 것을 알게된다.

Danger! Their method  of approach

With seductive language they approach Korean women who innocently just want to learn a foreign language...At first they just act as a friend, but soon you will realize they want a sexual relationship.

Oh. My. God. Many foreigners are men who want to  make girlfriends and have sex? What a bunch of filthy criminals! Poor little helpless naive Korean girls. They never ever see it coming...

I didn't get a chance to see the program, but it will soon be up on the Pandora site. I'm sure there are a lot of scenes of foreign men with their faces digitally distorted preying on young wide-eyed ponytailed Korean maidens in long white dresses on their way to church.   

Just reading over the transcript to this point made me so enraged that I just had to run out into the street and kick the first two white men that I saw squarely in their ridiculously large and hairy nut sacks. Odds are pretty good at least one of them was a violent drug-using sexual predator, so I think the ends justified the means. I encourage all of my readership to take similar measures to drive these evil barbarians out of our country. 

OK, now I am calm enough to read on...

불법 외국인 강사를 경계하라!

외국인 강사가 의심스러울
경우 그의 이력서나 학위증, 성적 증명서를 확인하는 방법이 있다. 하지만 위조된 경우가 많고, 서류상으로 범법 사실이나 질병의 유무를 판단할 수
없다는 한계가 있다. 직접 피해를 입었을 경우 민사적으로 손해배상을 청구해서 피해를 보상받을 수 있지만 이 역시 외국인이라 절차상으로 복잡하다.
당분간은 당국의 조치가 취해지 않는 한 스스로 조심하는 것과 분명한 선을 긋는 것 밖에 없을 것이다.

Translation: In situations where you doubt foreign teachers [which after viewers watch this program should be EVERY non-Korean one ever is unfortunate enough to encounter] there are methods of checking their employment records and degrees. However, there are cases of forgeries and there is the limit that one cannot judge whether or not they have a criminal record or disease just through documentation.

That's very true. How can one ever be certain that the foreigner sitting next to them on the subway isn't crawling with disease? Damn, I now wish that before finishing this article I hadn't gone out and kicked those icky foreigners in their filthy crotches. Lord knows how many different diseases I could have picked up just by going within a meter of them.

That's it. I just can't read any more. And to think all this time I allowed the links to blogs of English teachers here in Korea. I count at least 12 on my side bar, which means roughly 3 of them are violent criminals, three are drug dealers, and the rest are probably just sexual predators. I might just have to take down all the links (except Baduk over at Koreanamerican, of course).

Comments from original blog entry:

Where did you get that 2nd pic ("Return of the...") from? Is it an actual album cover?

Posted by: Hugh | June 17, 2007 at 06:46 AM

So *that's* why I can't get laid. Damn.

Posted by: 작업맨 | June 17, 2007 at 07:47 PM

Wow, what a disgraceful race we are, being non-Koreans! I guess now I should start wearing a brown paper bag over my head before I walk out the door. Shame shame shame on us!

Posted by: littlebrownasian | June 18, 2007 at 03:10 AM

For sure, I bet your criminal kicky-shoe is disease ridden now. I'd burn it. Or send it to prison.

Posted by: Jenn | June 18, 2007 at 10:08 AM


You are advising the Koreans on the foreigners, the crime actions. We are thanking you. Even if you are foreigner you are help keep other foreigner away. Thank you.

Please to stay in Korea if you wanna stay, only no touch Korea women. You can go to a place, it has a barber pole, two of them, for the 'handjob' if you wanna. But no touch the girl.

So very much thank for you understand.

Very much really,
Official Podori Dept. of Police

Posted by: Podori | June 18, 2007 at 10:23 PM

LOL!! You're hilarious! :)

Posted by: Jen | June 19, 2007 at 06:59 AM

That's what I'm talking about :)

Posted by: Nomad | June 21, 2007 at 02:50 AM

Hey, I recently added a news widget from http://www.widgetmate.com to my blog. It shows the latest news, and just took a copy and paste to implement. Might interest you too.

Posted by: Mark Vane | June 26, 2007 at 05:24 AM

"They never ever see it coming..."

Not only does Korea have four seasons, it has two phases to the day, every day; night and day. It's dark at night, so of course the never see it...

Posted by: Richardson | June 26, 2007 at 05:43 AM

In case you missed it, the full Pandora's Box anti-foreigner video can be viewed without a Korean ID at this forum: http://www.mongdori.com/forums/read.php?2,232

Posted by: Daniel | August 30, 2007 at 08:33 PM

Sorry guys, but i kinda agree with them. north americans come over there and act so disrespectful, spend all their time trying to get laid and just partying . . . i'm not saying it's wrong, i'm not saying it's not the korean way of life, but it reflects really poorly on foreigners and it only takes ten or twenty percent for people to start to think that's the norm and not the exception . . . personally, aside from the teachers i met at my second school, all the foreigners i met where recovering drunks and drug addicts--the others are just military and come'on, i come from oceanside, california (think camp pendleton, biggest marine base in the west coast) . . . even americans hate the marines . . . i can't blame them . . . i wouldn't want foreigners like this in america . . . and i really do think most koreans give americans the benefit of the doubt except for the college-age korean girls, and that's pretty understandable considering the reputation we've (probably a lot because of the G.I.'s) built for ourself.

Posted by: t-diddy | September 08, 2007 at 04:51 PM

"Danger! Their method of approach

"With seductive language they approach Korean women who innocently just want to learn a foreign language...At first they just act as a friend, but soon you will realize they want a sexual relationship."

Funny...as one of the few non-white, non-male, non sexually-active people who were teachers in Korea, the same thing happened to me except by Korean guys who claimed they wanted to learn English. Deja vu!

Posted by: Adrienne | October 24, 2007 at 08:13 PM

I can't wait to go back to Canada and start slagging Korean newcomers with allegations like this: they're perverts, they're xenophobic to a fault, they're chronic liars and they only employ English teachers because they have no friends among their own kind.

(Google "A Country of liars" for an article written by a Korean that gives STATISTICAL PROOF that Koreans do nothing but lie...but then, you knew that).

Posted by: blunderbuss | December 24, 2007 at 08:34 AM

ummmm.... I'm Korean... and if you read what you are saying... lol you are being a total hypocrit...

before you go calling Americans racist, listen to the things your saying. You sound pretty racist to me.

There are bad people everywhere... EVEN IN KOREA...

You guys are making korean's look bad.... you cant even come up with true statistics... yet alone write in a way that Americans can understand.

quit putting useless information into people's head.

there is racism everywhere. grow up and deal with it. i did. i was made fun of... but you just gotta learn to FUCK WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK. You gotta live for yourself not them. if you let those people bring you down... then thats just you being weak. what about the black people?? mexicans? and in this case Americans. racism will always be apart of this world. and there isnt shit we can do about it.

Posted by: Lisa | January 27, 2008 at 01:58 AM

I agree.

Foreigners in Korea are mostly a lousy, lousy bunch, making bux teaching English and contributing little to the country as a whole.

That being said, Korean women are amazingly naive and stupid.

Who wouldn't take advantage of them?

Posted by: Carioca | June 08, 2008 at 06:28 AM

Friday, May 18, 2007

Kim Yun Jin Cries Discrimination; Sells More Books

Kim Yun-Jin, one of the stars of Lost, is coming out with a book telling her Hollywood story. Yun-Jin, dubbed the 'Julia Roberts of Korea', ( by the Korean public relations department in charge of finding an American counterpart for everything Korean that is even remotely famous) has made the news recently when  details of her book describing the discrimination she experienced in America were  accidentally revealed to all of the Korean media agencies.

In the Korean papers the discrimination charges made the headlines. The Chosun Ilbo softens it up a bit, but still shows the ugly truth of racism in Amerikkka.

Some choice clips from the article along with some righteously angry commentary.

Despite her ascent to top stardom in Korea’s Chungmuro, Kim decided to
try her luck as an unknown in Hollywood. But the L.A film scene was an
unfamiliar world, where the star of “Swiri,” Korea’s first blockbuster,
was just another aspiring Asian actress.

Wow. She decided to try her luck in Hollywood despite her mega-massive stardom in Korea's Chungmuro (there's an ajoshi who sells both ice cream and bondegi there on the street by the way--vanilla ice cream and boiled silkworm larvae together at last!). Why would anyone who made it on Chungmuro feel a need to go anywhere else?

And how could she just be another aspiring Asian actress when her work in Swiri was so well known from Seoul all the way down to Cheju island? Arrogant American bastards. This is just the same irrational disrespect for Korea that was shown to Korea's baseball star Lee Seung Yeop back in 2003 when the Major Leagues refused to let him enter the league as a starter (Lee's batting a solid .243 in the Japan league thus far this season, by the by, but I digress...)

Back to the trials of poor Yun-Jin. Let's get to the awful details of all that awful discrimination she faced in awful America:

she landed what was initially a marginal part
in "Lost." In fact, her audition persuaded the production team to
create the character Sun, who was not in the script in the first place.

See that? They purposely changed the entire script just to...wait a minute, let me reread that...

Ok, so that's not exactly the discrimination part yet. As a matter of fact, just forget that part of the article. Let's get right to the discrimination charge:

Kim recalls an incident of racial discrimination while taking pictures
for the poster of "Lost," when all non-Caucasian actors were put in the
back row.

There it is! See? Forced to stand in the back row! Back of the bus, back row in the picture...what the hell is the difference?

I went to Google images to see these racist poster images for myself. Here are all the images I found on the first 12 pages of image results (click on the photos to enlarge, but only if you are sure you can handle the ugly racism contained therein!)


Notice how Yun-Jin is almost somewhat on the back row if you look at it in the right angle. Also note how cruelly she is placed slightly off-center. Despite this foul treatment, she keeps her composure like the professional that she is. Hang tough little warrior!

As if the promotional poster above wasn't bad enough,
here  she is WAY off center and with the exception of about 9 people,
is clearly the furthest in the background. You can just hear the white
photographers giggling as they put her in this demeaning position.


How many people are behind Yun-Jin on this one? Forget
about Yun-Jin being the 'Julia Roberts of Korea', the 'Rosa Parks of
Korea' is more like it!


Sure, maybe she's in the front here, but they are making her sit on the dirty ground! What, no one has any newspapers that can't be spread out for them to sit on? Really?!!? And look at that white girl on the right mocking the 'coloreds' by sitting down next to them.  This one really turns my stomach.


Notice how close they have her standing next the trees. What are they saying? That she is some kind of monkey?


What? Where is Yun-Jin on this one? I bet they forced her to go to Starbucks and get coffee for everyone just before they were called up to get the awards. Yeah, really funny you racist bastards!

I never did find the poster where Yun-Jin was relegated to the back row along with the other non-whitey types, but does that really matter? Clearly the point here is that among the hundreds of publicity shots they took of the Lost crew, one of them had her and the black actors in the back row. 

And that, my friends, is just one too many.

America, when you will stop be so damned racist? WHEN!!!

While we're on the subject of Yun-Jin, here are some other links about her on the Chosun site which continue to show her struggle against racist hate in America. Read them only if you are sure you can stomach all the harsh treatment she is receiving in the U.S. and the nasty, racist things Americans are constantly saying about her.

Yun-Jin makes MSN's list of world class beauties

Yun-Jin among U.S. magazine's 100 sexiest women


Comments from original post

omg, American racism

Posted by: James | May 18, 2007 at 01:28 AM

clearly they were saying something by having the unwed white trash single mother on the beach next to her as well.

Posted by: EFL Geek | May 18, 2007 at 01:36 AM

I did the same image search of the Lost cast after reading that comment, and found nothing. I actually liked her and she seemed like a decent person in the interviews I'd seen on Letterman and a couple other talk shows.

What a disappointment to see her jumping on the victim bus with the rest of the Han-inflicted. Funny I didn't see her mention all the racism when she was chatting it up with Dave. Chickenshit.

Posted by: iheartblueballs | May 18, 2007 at 06:57 PM

[What a disappointment to see her jumping on the victim bus with the rest of the Han-inflicted. Funny I didn't see her mention all the racism when she was chatting it up with Dave. Chickenshit.]

Exactamundo. I hope the producers of the show get their hands on this, fire and sue her for slander. I can't wait to see the net-plebs attack a major TV network, that will really draw attention to their terrorist tactics.

Posted by: Peter Pan | May 18, 2007 at 07:53 PM

She didn't write that book. It was written for her. I'd not be surprised to learn that Kim Yun-Jin discovered the content of the book the same way we did -- reading it in the paper.

Posted by: Brendon Carr | May 19, 2007 at 07:02 AM

I am also curious as to just how much of the book really focuses on discrimination. Wouldn't be out of character for the Korean media to blow something like that out of proportion. I saw this on Korean TV the other day and the discrimination claim was the only thing they were talking about.

If she didn't write the book, I certainly hope she would at least read it and give it her approval. She's probably operating on the idea that these claims will boost sales of the book in Korea and it will never get back to the cast and crew of Lost. Pretty dumb that...

Posted by: partypooper | May 19, 2007 at 07:33 AM

I am surprised you didn't talk about StarCraft 2 today. News of the new StarCraft must be sending shockwaves across South Korea and more good news now that they reopned some railroads to their Nork brothers.

This is a godsend after the demise of StarCraft: Ghost, which was a disaster on part with the Gwangju massacre on 5.18...

Posted by: MarkMilton | May 19, 2007 at 09:07 PM

I am surprised you didn't talk about StarCraft 2 today. News of the new StarCraft must be sending shockwaves across South Korea and more good news now that they reopned some railroads to their Nork brothers.

This is a godsend after the demise of StarCraft: Ghost, which was a disaster on par with the Gwangju massacre on 5.18...

Posted by: MarkMilton | May 19, 2007 at 09:07 PM

Well pooped, Pooper.

I'd still do her, though, despite the fact that we share the Kim name and might therefore be distant relatives. Hell, I'd do her because we might be distant relatives! "Cousins taste better" and all that.


Posted by: Kevin Kim | May 20, 2007 at 05:58 AM

Damn... I keep forgetting that HTML tags don't work in these comment threads. "Because" was supposed to be in italics.


Posted by: Kevin Kim | May 20, 2007 at 06:01 AM

Sorry to get off topic but, Kevin, would you do Bobby Kim because you might be distant relatives?

Posted by: Iceberg | May 21, 2007 at 02:37 PM

No tits or ass. Where is the "Jenna Jameson of Korea"?

Posted by: Giant Panda | May 21, 2007 at 10:33 PM

No tits or ass. Where is the "Jenna Jameson of Korea"?

On the way, just made a quick stop at your nearest friendly Korean cosmetic surgery facility. :)

Posted by: littlebrownasian | May 24, 2007 at 01:23 AM


Posted by: Nomad | May 24, 2007 at 02:39 AM

Remember all the "discrimination" that Park Chan-Ho endured in his rookie when Mike Piazza would motioned Park to come TO HIM.


Posted by: a-letheia | May 24, 2007 at 03:06 AM


Maybe I'd do a "Bobbie Kim," but not a Bobby Kim.


Posted by: Kevin Kim | May 24, 2007 at 04:05 AM

She is a cunt. Koreans are cunts.

Posted by: yunnycunty | May 27, 2007 at 01:44 AM

Discrimination my ass. what about discrimination against blacks in korea. There is this one Black korean actress that was scorned for years. I hope she included her in her book as well.
The supposed book that she wrote/didnt write has to be some sort of a practical joke.

Posted by: common26 | September 19, 2007 at 04:20 AM

Yunjin kim is very lucky to have the opportunity to
establish wealth and fame in America.
She should be grateful for all instead of offending
people who gave her chance to become what she is now.
Money is good but that's no way to sell her book with nothing but lies.

Posted by: Tailor Kim | October 11, 2007 at 02:55 PM

America's entertainment media including many others
supported her with great exposure through top talk shows that others only dream about once in a life time..
Yunjin Kim only criticized ,complained and accused that she was discriminated to the people who gave support instead.
This is wrong!

Posted by: Mary Smith | October 11, 2007 at 03:09 PM

Lost star Yunjin Kim lied about her being " Julia Robert of Korea".
None of Korean in korea recognize her as such.

Posted by: Bill so min | October 11, 2007 at 03:18 PM

Lost star "Yunjin Kim" own aplolgy to America for
stating a such false discrimination story which is nothing but lies and cursing.
She should officialy apologize to American people who given her
increadible support.
It's a crime to become a gold digger such way

Posted by: Fair S Sue | October 11, 2007 at 03:32 PM

I do have real true sympathy for the ones who gave
Kim Yunjin lost star chance to grow and becaome successful in America.
Lost TV show made and built foundation for Yunjin kim to become
who and where she is now.
I don't believe the story THAT Yunjin Kim is Great " Julia Roberts of Korea".
and her story claiming America's discriminaion by working with LostTV...all is totally
I heard and seen nothing but praise and support by people in America for her Lost stardon.
She should be thankful instead of back stabbing american people who shared with only kindness.

Posted by: Mary Kim | October 11, 2007 at 04:09 PM

Who The Hell Is Yunjin Kim? - The BastardlyBastardly Hot or Not: Yunjin Kim @ Disney ABC All Star Party; Yunjin Kim ... I had 6 years time to find this out. Friday, July 14, 2006 at 8:13 am; didier ...
www.bastardly.com/archives/2006/07/13/who-the-hell-is-yunjin-kim/ - 32k -

Posted by: Cho M. | October 29, 2007 at 07:35 PM

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

K-netizen Come-uppance

In the previous post I discussed the ongoing Time Magazine Internet Poll allowing people to vote their choice for the 'most influential person of the year.'

Predictably, the Korean Netizens responded to such polls they way they always do and Rain zoomed to the top. With the poll still open, the Korean media jumped on the story to see to it that all good citizens rallied for this noble cause.  'Is Rain more famous than Bill Gates?' the good reporters ask. 'The World Recognizes Rain's Global Stardom' was the headline of this morning's 'Focus' paper (one of those free papers they give out on the subways).

Barf bag, please.

However, the story took a turn when Thailand citizens realized their own good king Bhumibal was in the running and they responded with their own Internet ballot box-stuffing campaign and soon Bhumibal was atop the poll (that's about where my updates stopped in the previous post).

The Korean netizens, refusing to be beaten at their own game, realized that the only way to kill the king's popularity and put Rain back on top was to bombard Bhumibal with low ratings. Soon his average rating plummeted from 91 to the low 80s, a feat which must have taken 10s of thousands of voters to accomplish.

However, when the Thais realized what the Korean netizens were doing they returned the favor and sent Rain down to 23rd place (below Bill Gates, by the by, and George Bush for that matter). Enraged, even more Koreans plagued Bhumibal with low ratings and now His Majesty sits at about 50th place.

And so both seem fucked at this point. There is justice sometimes in cyberspace.

We all owe the Thai people a enormous debt of gratitude  for saving us from what surely would have been another onslaught of 'Gee, ain't we grand?' reporting from the Korean media which thrives on these farces.

But mayhaps I  am being premature in thinking the K-netizens so easily defeated? If they organize even greater numbers and get EVERYONE'S ratings in the low 70's, then their man (for lack of a better of word) is back in the running!  Sounds difficult, but an entire nation's sense of self-worth is on the line here, is it not?

'Backlash' seems to be a popular word lately. I think the antics of the Korean netizens and media are starting to get well known throughout Asia and perhaps even beyond and not in the way they'd like. The Thais will probably not take kindly to their King being trashed online and realize that with Korea it's all 'Please love us but we don't give a shit about you' (which, as we all know, is something only America has the right to demand). Don't be surprised if events like this leads to an even bigger decline in the 'Korean wave' than there was last year.


Never underestimate the power of the K-netizens. They've managed to get Rain back up to #11 by systematically bombarding the person in the next higher ranking with low ratings while continuing to try to push Rain's rating higher (getting a few hundred votes every minute, according to my half-assed calculations). American Idol clown Sanjaya is the latest victim, suddenly getting about a hundred votes per minute while all other candidates ranked ahead and behind are just getting a few. Scary to think of how many Netizens have given up their evenings for this matter of national honor.

Comments on original post

Hey, Koreans can't earn their self-esteem so they fake it, just like "Pi" has no talent so they run his voice through a computer and slap makeup on the girlieman and teach him a couple basic Michael Jackson moves from 25 years ago, and they have a "star."

Posted by: Ultimate Iguana | April 25, 2007 at 05:43 PM

Sanjaya vs. Rain. How ironic.

Posted by: SomeguyinKorea | April 25, 2007 at 05:44 PM

Hi Poops
Have you heard of this blog 'tagging' lark? I've just 'tagged' you - pop over to my place if you're interested.

Have a great weekend!

Leone xx

Posted by: Leone | April 27, 2007 at 07:32 AM

Wow - Rain is #3 now!

Posted by: Jenn | April 28, 2007 at 04:11 AM

The whole story is pretty sad... I've always hated this kind of polls.
But you don't have to thanks Thai people. Colbert's supporters worked with their VoteBots to decrease Rain's position and, of course, increase Colbert's. You can see it yourself in ColbertNation forum.

btw... who is that Colbert guy?

Posted by: m | April 28, 2007 at 10:38 PM

The Digital Assclown Brigade (Korean division) has pushed Rain to #1 as of 2 May. Let the cultural masturbation--oh...sorry...um..."We're Number 1" articles begin!

Posted by: Kkachi | May 02, 2007 at 02:16 AM

Rain doesn't have full eyebrows

Posted by: hardyandtiny | May 02, 2007 at 05:06 AM

Rain says he's not even included in the final list, because he was only invited as an alumnus and not as an awardee.

Anyway, it wasn't just Korea voting, it was the whole of Rain's fanbase voting a hundred thousand times a day. I'm talking large-scale here: Hong Kong, Singapore, USA, Philippines, Thailand, Malaysia, Indonesia. It's all over the comments page; only a small percentage of those who participate in this ridiculous poll is from Korea, mostly are from all over the world. Quite pathetic, yes, but these boppers have so much time in their hands they don't know what to do with it.

Time should have never introduced the poll in the first place. Fans go crazy when they think their idols have to be number one. Rain's fans are scarier. It's amazing how they can all unite from different places to get him to the top. And although there could be cheating involved (ie rating other people 0), fans of other candidates undoubtedly did it to the others in the list at one time or another.

And by the way, Korea is not the only one saying 'Rain Number One' here. Articles of Miyamoto in the top 5 also run out and about in Japanese newspapers. Steve Jobs leading the race was also featured in a business magazine.

Posted by: Mister | May 02, 2007 at 05:24 AM

I hear that this rain guy is "bi". whatever. anyway, I hope rain gets top votes for everything. Dumb koreans.

Posted by: NorhKorean | May 04, 2007 at 05:27 AM

It's all pretty funny. Rain, the worlds #1 most influential person. Haha.. btw man, you dont need an apostrophe when you write "10s" or "Thais". It really killed your article for me. ^^

Posted by: Qinella | May 05, 2007 at 11:37 AM

The offending little monster's we're taken out. Thank's for the head's up. And rest assured, no error's in you're comment had any adverse affects on me.

Posted by: partypooper | May 06, 2007 at 04:22 AM

Hey guys, leave Ji-Hoon alone will you! I'd just like to bend him over and roger him senseless and what's wrong with that? He's got that kind of talent........

Posted by: Leone | May 06, 2007 at 05:50 AM

I love how it says his albums have "topped the charts in Japan" when they struggle even to make it into the top 20

Posted by: Angel Wings | May 06, 2007 at 08:29 AM

Saturday, April 14, 2007

Rain: The Light Drizzle Tour


Time Magazine is currently conducting an Internet poll to let the people decide who is the most influential person in the world. Naturally, Rain is in the lead, proving once again his amazing global domination.

As of 10:20 AM (Corea Time), Rain had 57,290 votes. Apparently Thai netizens have been alerted about the poll as well, as that Giant of Global Affairs Bhumibol Adulyadej is vying for the lead. He was leading Rain at 9 AM, but the Korean Netizens have dutifully responded. For you ignoramuses (ignorami? can I get a spellcheck here?) who do not know who Bhumibol is (or 'Bhumiboy', as he is affectionately called by sarcastic expats in Thailand), he is the king of Thailand. In his write up on the Time site, you find this little blurb:

"Not much known or thought about outside Thailand. But inside Thailand
it remains a crime to insult or merely criticize him in any way."

Now that's not true! There are 10's of thousands of Thais outside of Thailand who occasionally think about him.

The poll has a column for 'total votes' and another for 'ranking'. They kindly, yet vaguely, explain how the rating system works:

The Average Rating is the mean of all Influence Meter submission for
a candidate and Total Votes represent the number of people that have
voted for each candidate.

Probably what is going on is that Korean and Thai netizens are repeatedly giving their boy 100% ratings and then giving his closest opponent 0% ratings. Since it is illegal to criticize the King of Thailand, I hope the proper authorities are tracking everyone who gives the Beloved King a score less than 90% and arrests them the moment they set foot in Thailand. Then naturally they should be brutally tortured in prison (I'd say 1 week for every percentile point below 90% that the voters gave him would be about right).

The Korea media has already jumped on the story. The headline of this piece reads, rather prematurely, "Singer Rain Selected First Place by Time Magazine". The first sentence reads, "Who is more famous, the singer Rain or Bill Gates?" It goes on to list all the big names around the world that Rain is 'more famous' than according to this highly scientific poll. I don't think they understand that the vote is ongoing and has clearly just turned into a competition between nationalistic robots submitting vote after vote for the representative of their country, but have these kinds of little technicalities ever stopped the Korea media before?

Update 2:

At 10:40 we have some dramatic changes in this very important poll!

Stephen Colbert of Comedy Central fame is now #1! Rowlings comes in at #2, the Boomdi-boomdi-boy of Thailand is at #3, and Rain has fallen to #4. What the fuck is wrong with you Korean netizens? Are you really going to let an American take the number one spot? Stop playing Starcraft and vote, damnit!

More updates to come. Stay tuned!

Update #3
I have officially quit my job in order to better stay on top of this very important event and spend every minute voting for Andy Samberg (of Lazy Sunday and  'Dick in a Box' fame, I'd say the latter alone has had slightly more influence on the world than Rain). My 200 votes (and counting!) have got him into the top 40.  I will continue to give updates every hour on the hour.

At precisely 11 AM J.K. Rowlings has taken the top place with a mere 19,000+ votes. BhoomerBoy is at #2 with 62,000 votes and Pee is at 3rd place with 60,000 votes.

This really isn't right. Rowlings has the unfair advantage of actually being known outside of her country. Once again, the Wicked West is setting up poor Corea for failure with this very undemocratic system of rating.

Why? WHY?!!!!

Update 4
Bhumbully is pulling away with the lead, now at over 67,000 votes. Can there really be another country that is even more insecure and nationalistic than Corea, or is this just a fluke?

Sydney Crosby is at #6 with about 6000 votes.

Yeah, I had never heard of him before either. I guess he is Canada's representive in this poll, which I suppose I should know because according to hundreds of angry kyopo girls I am a Canadian English teacher of children in Korea. Now that I just quit my job, I'll have a lot more time to teach illegal private English lessons, pick up Korean girls in bars, criticize everything American and smoke pot, like all my other Canadian brethren here.

Update 5

Sorry about missing the last two updates. A friend of mine just in from Vancouver had some really good BC Hydro. We lit it up a few hours ago and I totally spaced on this. I'll be sure to hit that again before my privates tonight; I've got to teach/entertain 2 middle school kids who despise studying English and I just couldn't make it through that if all my senses were intact.

Anyway, what the
hell was this post about again? Oh yeah, the online poll thingy. Well,
the Once and Future Nerd King of Thailand is really running away with
this thing. He's got over 80,000 votes, about 15,000 over Rain. I guess these Thai kids just want it more. They remind me of Korea about  back in 2002. Either Korea's going soft or Rain is just too lame to motivate the masses to vote.

Or maybe this is part of that backlash we've all been waiting for over the Cho massacre. Yeah, I like that theory. Maybe it's just the hydro talking, but it makes perfect sense to me.

Update 6:

Oh my fucking heck! A shocking turn of events in the poll. This is clearly becoming the biggest  second biggest story of this month. It deserves its own post.

Make it so...

Original highly popular post

Yet another article on Rain from the Chosun Ilbo (also commonly known in certain scholarly circles as the Chosun Dildo, due to its ability to self-stimulate feel-good nationalism like no other rag in Korea, though the good people at Chosun prefer to be referred to as "the Fox News of Korea").


Photo: Rain, sporting his new 'effeminate-nerd' look sure to drive all the Sheilas Down Under wild.

The article in its entirety, with the occasional comment here and there in bold.

The Stamford Plaza Hotel in Sydney on Wednesday was bustling with about
100 reporters and photographers from all over Asia and Australia. [with the total number of non-Asians estimated nearly in the double digits] They
were there for a press conference with Rain who had arrived a few days
ahead of his Saturday concert, his first show in Australia and part of
his "Rain's Coming" world tour.

Journalists from the Sydney Morning Herald, ABC TV, Rueters TV and
other local and international news outlets turned their attention to
the Korean pop singer who is rapidly becoming a global star. [actual statistics proving this to come later, I'm sure. Maybe much later. Until then...just believe...]

Rain, in both one-on-one morning interviews and at the press
conference, talked confidently about his feelings preparing for the
show, the results of the tour so far and his future plans.

Rain arrived in Australia on Tuesday to find a crowd of 150 fans
waiting for him at Sydney Airport. [Too bad they don't have a picture of that massive swell so we could see what Koreans living in Australia look like. If any of you have trouble trying to picture a crowd of 150, just recall the crowd of people waiting in Arrivals the last time you flew on a plane and add about 10 people to that.] Despite a hiccup in the tour date --
the concert was postponed a week because of a venue change [the original venue decided it would be more profitable to go with the All Stars of Polka World Tour] -- ticket
sales have been going well. [No, there are no figures to back up that claim, but rest assured if it had sold out then that information would have been included in the headline of this piece]. Even the Easter holidays didn't slow down
the weekend bookings. [Not that it should make any difference anyway, but hey, you try to come up with a better spin if you think it's so easy]

Rain will take to the stage on Saturday at Acer Arena, where
other top international acts such as the Red Hot Chili Peppers and
Beyonce Knowles have performed. [Which obviously means Rain is on an equal footing with such acts. Simple logic, that. On a completely unrelated subject, by the way, I once participated in a local basketball tournament back in the States and we played the final games in an arena where NBA teams used to play regularly. So basically there isn't much difference between me and the likes of Michael Jordan, Larry Bird and Magic Johnson.]

Be sure to keep reading the Chosun Ilbo for more '비 on their Backs and Tell 'em It's Raining' articles.

Comments on original post

Oh, c'mon, no comments on this yet!? Then I'll just post a quick note to say that I found this post up to your usual high standards.

I'd like to find an official count on the number of products that this effeminate nerd endorses.

By the way, have you seen the "Not You Again: Do You Endorse Everything?" stickers around Seoul? I may know where you can get some, if you are interested.

Posted by: Whitey | April 20, 2007 at 07:30 AM

OK here's a comment: "Pi" is a talentless little girlieman.

Posted by: Ultralarge Octopus | April 23, 2007 at 03:37 AM

being a rain fan myself i shouldn't be happy about your post, but... hehehe... i have to admit, it's hilarious :)

Posted by: m | April 27, 2007 at 11:09 PM

Nice to see the occaisonal K-pop fan with a sense of humor.

Posted by: partypooper | April 28, 2007 at 02:08 AM

King of thailand sucks donkey cock.

Posted by: thai | May 04, 2007 at 05:34 AM


Posted by: acomplia rimonabant | August 07, 2007 at 06:35 AM

This photo of Rain isn't doing much to dispel my suspicion that Rain is a retard.

Posted by: Brendon Carr | August 12, 2007 at 06:10 AM

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Photo Fun, Spring 2007

Kept these photos for a while waiting for a good chance to use them. But methinks now's the time just to clear out out my picture file. I hope you find them as sparkling as I have.


The Party Pooper heartily endorses any English language product touted by either of these language education whor professionals.
Learn English AND laugh at silly foreigners at the same time; what could be better?

Isaac Durst, bold pioneer in the field of edutainment, has a new book out which is sure to be super good. I hear it has lots of pictures of him in gorilla suits and whatnot, so you know a whole lotta good learnin's goin' on here. So funny!

Robert has an even more super program that promises students will speak English as well as Robert speaks Korean in only 90 days (Yes, he's fluent). The secret is to have students memorize 1000+ English sentences. Who'd uv thunk it?!  Simply amazing! He's been running this scam program for several years now; I'm sure you all have run into the thousands of his satisfied customers who now speaking English so good.


I was surprised that this photo didn't get more coverage in the press. It may appear that George is taking advantage of Jong-il, but I think it's clear that Jong-il is loving every minute of it. You have to understand that it's Korean culture not to appear to be giving it away too easily.

Update: I have just received word that this image might not be authentic. I'll look into it.


This is a picture I took recently that I brought to my photography class for peer review. Generally the feedback was good: lighting was appropriate, the main object was slightly off center, and the general ambiance and mood of the event was well captured. My instructor still thinks I have a long way to go, but he says my work shows substantial progress in comparison to my bukkake photos from last week.


Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Dog Meat: Fact from Fiction (or, How Would you Like your Dog Penis?

It's been a while since Oriental medicine got a good pooping upon.

An article at the Joongang daily (hat tip to fellow dog-eater Marmot). Is dog meat more healthy than other meat? Does it really cool your body in the summer? Does it really make your weener sit up and beg for biscuits?

Two 'experts,' one an Oriental medicine doctor and the other some far less entertaining person who actually knows something about human physiology, tackle this controversial issue.

Some portions of the article along with a snarky comment or two.

Professor Ann Yong-geun of Chungcheong University waded into the controversy last month when he said that there is a nutritious property of dog meat that cannot be proven by Western medical science.

Cannot be proven by 'Western medical science.' Of course, this means the empirical method. What exactly, good professor, is the 'non-Western' way to prove something? Proof based on blind faith in superstition? Proof based on anecdotal evidence (which of course, could simultaneously prove and disprove every theory ever produced)? Proof based on how good a theory sounds after the 3rd bottle of soju?

He said in a CBS radio program that although dog meat has less protein and fewer minerals than pork, chicken or beef, eating dishes like gaejangguk and boshintang (dog stew) mysteriously allow more energy to enter the body.

Dog meat has less protein and fewer minerals than other meat, yet somehow it gives people more energy! What a mystery! And how do we know it gives us more energy? That's yet another mystery! Don't try to prove it by your silly Western tests. Obviously physiological tests can't show it! Just believe!

But what if we take three groups of people and put them on a diet identical in every way except one group gets a dog meat supplement, the other chicken, and the other tofu. Prepare the dish in a way that it is very difficult to detect a difference in taste (perhaps just tell them the dog meat is really ostrich meat, or some other meat they probably haven't tried). Then allow them to self-report their energy levels.

If that kind of study came up with consistent results in favor of dog meat, perhaps then we would have proof of this extra energy?

But no! That is yet another 'Western' way of trying to prove something. Dog meat is so beyond that! Even though the people who eat dog meat might not feel or realize they have more energy, and no other test can physically show it, they DO have more energy! What a big ass muther-fucking mystery it is!

Perhaps the good people of Chungcheong university might want to check this guy's diplomas.

Drawing on folklore, others say that dog meat is good for stamina, the liver and the stomach, as mentioned in the Donguibogam, a medical text written by the physician Heo Jun in the Joseon Dynasty.

In unrelated news, Koreans are much more likely to get stomach and liver cancer compared to other races but I digress...

To sort out fact from fiction Bai Young-hee, a food and nutrition professor from Osan College, and Joo Jeong-ju, an Oriental herbal doctor, agreed to analyze the claims behind Korea's dog-eating customs.

Excellent! Please enlighten us, oh mighty sages!

Why is dog meat recommended during summer?

Joo: In traditional herbal medicine, people have four types of temperaments: han, naeng, on and yeol. Han is the coldest and yeol, the hottest.
Our ancestors ate food that best suited their temperament or nature and their environment. Ancient Koreans would categorize the temperament of grain, for example, depending on when it is harvested and what kind of soil or climate it was grown in. Barley is grown during fall and winter, so it would be categorized as having a cool temperament.

Our ancestors believed dog meat has a warm temperament. The blood circulates within the body and during the summer, most body heat gravitates to the outer layer of the body. This makes the body core cool and reduces stamina. Ancestors believed that dog meat warms the inside of the stomach, restoring strength.

Did you get all that? The han and the yeol? The part about body heat gravitating and such? Warming of stomachs? Make sense to you?

To date, of all that Joo just spewed out about eating dog meat in the summer, "the blood circulates within the body" is the only thing thus far proven by Western science.

Can Osan University professor Bai Young-hee possibly top that answer?

Why is dog meat recommended during summer?
It is a tradition. Some people say that eating dog meat actually prevents sweating because dogs themselves don’t sweat through their skin but through their tongues. In reality there is very little difference between the temperature of the stomach in the winter and that found in the summer.

That's it? Come on Prof Bai, can't you do better than just spout out facts? Where's the entertainment value in that?

Interesting that some people believe that because dogs don't sweat, eating dog meat will likewise prevent you from sweating. By a similar line of reasoning, could we not conclude that since dogs can lick their own balls, eating dog meat would bestow this ability as well? Has anyone out there experimented with this and would like to share? Of course, we won't ask you to prove it because it is probably unprovable anyway (and I think I'd rather not see it anyway, thank you).

Let's continue learning! My comments are included within the text.

How nutritious is dog meat?

Joo: In Oriental medicine we say it'€™s nutritious for those who lack heat in their body
[that would be called 'clinically dead', in Western terminology]. In the past, dog meat was used as a medical treatment and not a delicacy. Ancestors believed that dog meat protects the body as a whole. In fact, many animals including goats, pigs, sparrows and crows were all used in Oriental remedies. It is hard to say which part of the dog is most nutritious or best for the body, [yeah, really hard for someone who doesn't even know the fundamentals of human physiology] although in olden times this claim was made for the genitalia. It is not a matter of how much protein or fat dog meat contains [like they would even know that anyway],ۥ Oriental medicine is based on ancestors'۪ observations and experiences in nature. [not to mention more than a little credulity, see here for more information on the wonderful phenomenon which is Oriental medicine]

I see, so your answer to that question is...what? This kind of answer makes me very curious as to exactly what Oriental 'doctors' actually study in school.

Bai: One hundred grams of raw dog meat contains 60.1 percent water, 19 grams of protein, 20.2 grams of fat and 44.4 milligrams of cholesterol. It also contains vitamins, potassium, ash, phosphorous, iron and sodium. Compared to other meats or ingredients, dog meat has less cholesterol. There are 1,280 milligrams of cholesterol in an egg yolk, 82.4 in tuna and 65.2 in pork. Compared to beef, pork and chicken, dog meat is not high in protein. But it is true that its amino acid content is superior to other meats.

Thank you for answering the question, Professor Bai. Nice to know you actually did more for your study than just sit around drinking dong-dong ju talking about meta-physical mysteries.

Is dog meat really good for stamina?

Joo: Yes, it is, especially gaesoju, or dog wine. Gaesoju is a fermented drink that is distilled by cooking the dog in a double boiler. Moreover, our ancestors used the dog's penis in the gaesoju and as a medicine to supplement energy. But I repeat, most treatments of Oriental medicine were derived from nature and people's experience.

Bonus points to the Jooster for saying the word 'penis.'

Some Questions:

  • Is the dog penis placed in the bottle of soju much like the worm can be found at the bottom of a bottle of tequilla?
  • Would a true man swallow the penis?
  • Does this dog penis medicine have to be taken orally, or are there other methods (which are probably illegal in most countries)?
  • How do you prefer your man to take his dog penis medicine, and do you find it stimulating to watch?


Photo Caption: "No, no! I said I wanted my dog well hung!"

Same question to you, Professor Bai (same original question about dog food being good for stamina, that is, you don't have to answer the other questions about dog penis treatments, unless you want to, that is).

Bai: All the ingredients of gaesoju are healthy to some extent. But the influence differs from person to person. For some, dog meat is good for stamina or post-operative recovery. Depending on an individual's body structure, it can supplement nutrition.

Effects vary from person to person...it works for some, not for others...no research studies mentioned to support any of this...

Or to put it another way, dog penis soju can be as good as any other placebo that is out there on the market.

Dog meat eaters say it is easy to digest.

Joo: According to Oriental medicine, dogs and chickens both have a warm temperament. Pork is cool and beef is both. Beef is good for all types of people but it cannot be used as a medical treatment because it does not balance warm or cold. On the other hand, dog meat is used to supplement body warmth. For example, for those who have a stomach disorder, gaesoju is recommended to balance their circulation and to help build up the digestive system.

Bai: Boiled dog meat is similar to beef but softer, making it easy to digest. This is why people in their 50s and 60s prefer eating the dish to beef.

Once again, same planet, different worlds. I don't think Joo even understood the question.

Would you recommend dog meat for the body's nutritional balance?

Joo: Personally, I don't recommend dog meat or gaesoju to my patients. I have religious reasons as well as spiritual reasons. I recognize dogs as pets that share emotions with people. They’re different from cows and pigs, which are domestic animals.

But from time to time, I do offer a gaesoju herb remedy to those who have really weak stomachs who cannot even digest thin gruel. Oriental medicine is an experience-oriented science. Believing is more important than asking why.

Joo, thank you for those last two sentences. That's a very good summary of your entire profession. I have nothing further to add.

Bai: Dog meat is not an essential food; we don't have to eat it in order to survive. In the past people believed they could benefit from eating dog meat. It is up to each individual whether or not to eat it. With changes in living patterns and eating habits, people suffer from different maladies. With such changes, concentrated treatments (Western medicine) are more effective than the so-called balanced ones used by Oriental medicine.

And a big thank you to you as well, Professor Bai, for at least implying one of the obvious truths that most Asians just don't want to face.

And to all you followers of the Oriental medicine religion, may you enjoy the penises of many a dog this summer.

And now some random puppy photo fun!

Now this is what I'm talking about!



Yay! Master is taking us out for a drive in the country!


An ad by a vegetarian group trying to convince people not to eat meat. I understand it didn't have quite the intended effect on Koreans and Chinese. Or expats in Korea named Robert, for that matter.

Idiots. Nobody eats dog with a knife and fork.


This is 'Mary' (the dog, that is). She was rescued from a dog farm by Sun-an (read the moving story here).

You may have won this round, 'Mary', but Sun-an can't be watching you all the time...

Revenant Dog: It has returned from the dead seeking vengeance on all eaters of dogs.

This legend scares the shit out of every Korean and Chinese man alive.

Damn, that picture is the scariest thing I've seen all week.

Check that. This video the Iceberg links here is the scariest thing I've seen all week.