Get to this site now and watch the video. Get informed.
Enjoy your burgers while you can, stupid earthlings...
I am reminded (for no particular reason) of a conversation I once had with an English textbook writer who stated proudly that her textbooks made no reference whatsoever to any fast food such as hamburgers or pizza. I asked her if beef itself was unhealthy, and if she also excluded mention of steak, kalbi, etc. as well. She said no, beef is fine in moderation. I then asked her if bread was unhealthy, or ketchup, tomatoes, or lettuce, with my voice rising in volume and pitch with each further hamburger ingredient until finally I was screaming at the top of my lungs, "THEN WHAT THE FUCK IS SO HIDEOUSLY WRONG WITH LETTING KIDS EAT A FUCKING HAMBURGER EVERY NOW AND THEN!" And she ran off weeping.
Every few months I catch a news report or documentary on Korean TV about the skin disease atopy. It shows some poor kids who are almost completely covered with a nasty looking itchy rash. Without fail, they mention fast food as one of the main culprits. Having not heard of this in the States, where more burgers and fries are consumed per capita than anywhere else in the world, I looked up as many sites on atopy and eczema that I could find and soon realized that this is a Korean myth right up there with fan death. The Korean response to the fact that fast food doesn't cause high levels of atopy in the States is that our bodies must be different. So what about Korean Americans, I ask, who grow up on a western diet of fast food? And that's usually where the conversation ends.
Enjoy your burgers, people. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. You don't see aliens coming millions of light years across the universe to steal our kimchi, do you? Think about it...
Comments on original blog entry
Moshi moshi oishi ushi! (Hello delicious cow!)
I kept thinking about you making that woman weep over hamburgers yesterday. It made me laugh all day!
Posted by: Jenn | October 02, 2006 at 08:45 PM
All lies by the Party Pooper.
Fan death is real and so is Miguk-hanburger-engendered atopy -- which is short for "a topping," meaning the toppings on a hanburger.
A little-known FACT is that hanburger is ground by fan blades, which accounts for the deadly deadliness of hanburgers ... especially Miguk hanburgers.
Hanguk hanburgers are not so bad because they are HANGUK.
I hope that I have persuaded you to reject the FTA, which is a plot to introduce more Miguk hanburgers into Uri Nara and weaken the Korean SPIRIT until the Miguks take over.
Resist.
Gypsy 'Hanguk' Scholar
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Posted by: Horace Jeffery Hodges | October 04, 2006 at 02:52 AM
Why the hell isn't my trackback showing up?
""THEN WHAT THE FUCK IS SO HIDEOUSLY WRONG WITH LETTING KIDS EAT A FUCKING HAMBURGER EVERY NOW AND THEN!""
Too funny.
Jeffery,
Hanburgers? I'm surprised no one like Lotteria has thought of that yet...
Posted by: Nomad | October 04, 2006 at 03:23 AM
Nomad,
I realize you're joshing, but I'll be a geek, anyway:
Why no han-burgers at Lotteria? Probably because "han" all by itself means something along the lines of "bitterness." Koreans want to "untie" their han, not eat more of it!
Imagine something called the Spleenburger in the West. It might be a hit among angry nebbishes, but that's about it.
Kevin
Posted by: Kevin Kim | October 04, 2006 at 04:39 AM
Damn, Kevin. And all this time I thought that Koreans wanted to "unite" their han.
I guess that was just my dyslexia...
Jeffery Hodges
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Posted by: Horace Jeffery Hodges | October 04, 2006 at 12:17 PM
Kevin,
But by eating it, wouldn't that, in a weird way, be one way of getting rid of it? Something about swallowing a bitter pill?
A spleenburger...that's pretty funny too.
Posted by: Nomad | October 04, 2006 at 03:59 PM
The whole argument that Korean bodies are different from those of foreigners is the same that North Korea uses to sell its domestically produced herbal remedies to its citizen s and discourage med students from wanting to study abroad.
Posted by: SomeguyinKorea | October 04, 2006 at 04:43 PM
The whole argument that Korean bodies are different from those of foreigners is the same that North Korea uses to sell its domestically produced herbal remedies to its citizen s and discourage med students from wanting to study abroad.
Posted by: SomeguyinKorea | October 04, 2006 at 04:43 PM
I can imagine Lotteria's first commercial:
DAE-HAN-BUR-GER!!
dunh dunh dunh dunh dunh
Posted by: Iceberg | October 04, 2006 at 04:51 PM
Iceberg, that's pretty funny!
I see that I'd better copyright my coinage of "Hanburger" right now.
Everybody, don't forget that I came up the the word before anyone else!
Though I suppose that somebody, somewhere might have already coined it...
Jeffery Hodges
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Posted by: Horace Jeffery Hodges | October 04, 2006 at 08:49 PM
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