Sunday, February 19, 2006

Two Koreans Classy in Victory (the rest of the country not)

An Hyun Su took gold in the 1000 and Lee Ho-Suk (always fun to hear American sports announcers say that one) took silver. Ohno got the bronze in a close race. How did the Korean skaters relish their victory over the most hated man in Korea?

If any hard feelings remained from 2002, they
disappeared during the bouquet presentation. Wearing a blue USA
T-shirt, a blue bandanna and a large gold chain, Ohno stepped on the
podium to receive his flowers.

Ahn then invited Lee and Ohno to share the top
spot with him. The three put their arms around each other, and Ohno
shook hands with both his rivals.

The Korean skaters' attitude towards Ohno has always been under-reported in the Korean media. Just didn't match their agenda, I suppose. Certainly the skaters were disappointed over the results in 2002, but for the most part they were complimentary about Ohno (scroll to the bottom of the post) in general and showed no hard feelings.

I couldn't find any picture of Ohno up on the podium embracing the other Korean skaters (though there is no shortage of pictures of the Korean skaters holding the Korean flag in victory). Found this one over at ESPN.

The Korean media, which went far and beyond the call of duty to stir up rage against Ohno in 2002, never hesitates to put words in the mouths of the athletes that further their agenda. The Naver site has a picture of An with the supposed 'quote' 오노를 꺾었습니다!' ,('I have defeated/crushed Ohno!') even though he never said anything like that. Here's another good picture and 'quote' showing the maturity of the Korean media. The childish gloating, just like the childish outrage of 2002, belongs solely to the people who pass themselves off as professional journalists (and the public they influence).

Ohno also showed good sportsmanship, much as he always has:

Ohno was hot on Ahn's trail in the closing laps,
with Lee in third. Lee darted out near the padded wall to get a better
angle on Ohno, cutting in on the American to take second on the
next-to-last turn.

As Ohno crossed the line third, he threw up his
hands. Known as one of the toughest skaters to pass, Ohno seemed to
say, "Oh well, he beat me."

You can find that pic and more of the race here.

Thursday, February 16, 2006

Coreons cant spel

An article over at Naver warns that Korean students can no longer spell Korean words and blames this decline on English. [Update: the English translation just came out.] The 'evidence' comes from a collection of writing from middle school students. Of 200 students who wrote essays on their hopes for the future, only 2 students had no spelling mistakes.

200602160109Here is a sampling of the student errors. If you ask me, the most interesting thing about these samples is not the spelling errors, but how at least two students found a way to say how much they hate the Japanese when talking about their future hopes. I hope they got extra credit for that.

This 'study' smells like BS to me. First off, did the students know that their spelling would be checked? The topic of the essay certainly doesn't sound academic, and I imagine the students just assumed that their writing was not going to evaluated carefully for things like grammar and spelling. They might have done a lot better if they knew it was important to check the spelling before submitting it.  Secondly, I don't know how long these essays were, but minor spelling errors are common even among those who are generally good spellers. When people write, they get caught up in what they are saying and minor spelling errors and grammar mistakes naturally crop up. Most good writers will go back and edit their writing for grammar and spelling IF they have time and IF they deem that is necessary for their intended audience (only the most anal of writers would spell check a private journal entry, for example).

So is spelling a big problem in Korea? It could be, but I don't think this study really shows anything other than how a good number of people with PhDs after their names in this country don't seem to know the fundamentals of good research design.

English study is quickly blamed for this 'problem'. Here's the justification:

인천의 모 중학교 이모(38) 교사는 지난해 12월 영어 시험문제를 채점하면서 당황했다. caterpillar(애벌레)의 철자와
한글 뜻을 쓰라고 했더니 350명 중 70% 정도가 영어 철자를 맞게 썼지만 한글은 ‘에벌레’ 또는 ‘애벌래’로 썼다.

70% of students were able to spell the English word 'caterpillar' correctly, but spelled it wrong in Korean(애벌레). This is a bullshit sample. The word caterpillar, though a bit long, is not really a very difficult word to spell in English (unlike a lot of other English words). The phonetics and the spelling are not so far apart and it follows common spelling patterns. The word in Korean, however (애벌레), is particularly difficult to spell because it uses two forms (애 and 에) which are phonetically very similar in spoken Korean and thus easily confused in spelling. And surprise, surprise, this is where the mistakes were made.

I'm sure this teacher was very choosy in finding such an example to further the 'English is killing the Korean language' agenda, and if you did comparisons with other words you would find that Koreans are far better spellers of their own language than of English. Take any second year Spanish student in a high school in any English speaking country and test them on the spelling of a commonly misspelled word in English like 'beggar' in English and in Spanish  and they'll probably get it right more in Spanish (mendigo). It wouldn't mean we have to panic and stop teaching Spanish in school; it only means that some words are easier to spell in a second language than in ones first language. It happens.

The article goes on to give the 'shocking' news that 2 out of 3 university students don't know what a particular expression means (강의 도중 군도(群島)--count me among the 66%). And then the article describes how much time is spent on English these days and jumps to the conclusion that this is the main problem.


Almost every problem with spelling and vocabulary knowledge in ANY language of a literate country can be traced to one thing: lack of extensive reading. Reading is THE way that the exceeding majority of people get an advanced vocabulary. A host of studies has given evidence that vocabulary knowledge and spelling are strongly correlated to ones reading habits. This is because spoken speech uses a fraction of the vocabulary used in writing.

The fact is, in Korea, the US and probably every other developed and developing country people are not reading as much as they used to, especially young people. TV, movies and video games have seen to that. A U.S. study (that actually seems to be well done, in contrast to the above study) shows how much of a problem this is.

The biggest drop in vocabulary is in teens and pre-teens. In just the
last 50 years the working vocabulary of a 14-year-old has dropped from
25,000 words to 10,000 words. These days, high school graduates have
only 20,000 to 25,000 words in their vocabulary. This is also related
to teens not reading as often.

Pretty drastic numbers. However, in defense of American high school students, I would like to point out that certain words have many meanings and this might explain the drop in vocabulary. The word 'fuck' alone probably made hundreds of other vocabulary words obsolete. For example, take  the title of the article I just linked:

'Old English': "U.S. vocabulary moribund, dwindling, fading fast"

"New English": "U.S. vocabulary is fucked."

Pretty much says the same thing, doesn't it? Who needs a large vocabulary?

Silliness aside, if you really want to 'save' the Korean language, help kids to discover the joy of reading rather than make them spend hours every day memorizing facts that they will happily forget 1 day after the test.

There exists a minority of overly-nationalistic scholars and educators in Korea that resort to these kinds of scare tactics about the Korean language and identity being corrupted by foreign influences (read: America and the English language). From a linguistic standpoint, it's a faulty argument. Was English 'better' before the Norman conquest, which brought a huge number of French words into common English and changed the grammar? Did Latin 'corrupt' English back when it was viewed as a superior language and used for new academic terms?  Is the English language worse off because we allowed Native American words into English (and words from basically every immigrant group that came to America)? Should we make our own word for kimchi to 'save' our language (in case we do, 'hoobastank', for some reason, sounds fitting to me)?

I think the stronger argument is that all of these 'corruptions' made our language richer. At worst, it just made the language different, but certainly no worse off. I don't see any evidence at all to suggest that Korea's case is any different. So for all Koreans and patronizing foreigners who jump on the
'linguistic imperialism' bandwagon, I say GSFP (Get Some Fucking

A final word on the whole 'spelling' controversy. You have to admit that the importance of spelling has diminished in the age of spell checkers. I'm not saying that spelling is completely unimportant, but I question the value of spending valuable education time memorizing the spelling of words when 1) correct spelling can be learned rather well incidentally through extensive reading in the language, 2) most writing these days is done electronically and can be spell-checked by the computer and 3)  despite what anal people like the author of 'Eats, Shoots, and Leaves' would have you believe, misspelling a word every now and then just doesn't mean that much.

Though I wouldn't recommend misspelling words on your resume, especially if you claim to be an English teacher.

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

February Dokdo Post: Dokdo Forever!

Some people ask me how much longer I will continue to post on Dokdo, to which my answer is always the same: 'FOREVER!!' I will keep posting on Dokdo until every single Japanese man, women and child comes to Korea and falls to his/her knees and confesses that Dokdo always has and always will belong to Korea (and then have to do it all again because the first round of apologies will certainly be insincere). I will post on Dokdo until the creators of stupid lying poopy-face sites like this are publicly executed and every person found to have visited those kinds of sites has one of his or her fingers severed and is forced to write 'Dokdo belongs to Korea' with the blood gushing from the severed digit (click on that link and that will be YOU!).

04182005dokdoddongThe Korblogger responsible from this blasphemy will pay as well! A Korean Jihad on your ass my friend! We know what city you live in and what kind of silly Korean car you drive...

I will continue to post on Dokdo until every history book IN THE WORLD  has an entire unit devoted solely to Dokdo. I will continue to post on Dokdo until ALL printed world maps include Dokdo (in the East sea!), with the words 'Dokdo' and 'East Sea' in huge red letters next to it (font size bigger than that used to indicate Japan) and the size of the island blown up to be larger than Japan as well. As a matter of fact, Dokdo should be so big that there isn't any room on world maps for the Japanese islands at all, thus leading to the logical conclusion that the entire Pacific Ocean be renamed the East Sea (hey all you Americans in LA, how's the surf in the East Sea this year! Ha!)

And then I will still post on Dokdo. I will use all the wealth amassed from this blog to fund expeditions to the far corners of the world like this one to make sure every African villager, every Alaskan eskimo, every Gautamalan chicken farmer, and every Detroit crack whore knows the TRUE history of Dokdo (and can sing the 'Dokdo' song from memory).

As so our noble struggling continues. Be sure to return here next month (and for the rest of your lives!) for further Dokdo updates.

Comments on original post

That's some jacked up stuff. A curse be on the house (or one room apartment) of the Korean blogger responsible for that blasphemy.

Posted by: Joel | February 13, 2006 at 04:54 PM

What up Poopah? Yea jap homies be dissin' Dokdo, me and DJ Doc, Psy, we be bustin' a cap in dem fo'shizzle! Dems playa hatahz fo real! Check dis out:
Dokdo, mofo, it our proper-T
Glock yo ass you mezz wid me!
You on chronic, talk dat trash
Dokdo be Coreaz, don' mess our stash


Posted by: Ice Kim Chi | February 13, 2006 at 05:49 PM

Uh huh. So, when are you going to stop posting on Dokdo?

Posted by: Hugh | February 13, 2006 at 08:12 PM

Until some Korean businessman puts a Kimbap Ch'unkuk and a PC bang on Dokdo, the island will remain in diplomatic limbo.

Posted by: Sumiyoshi Pilgrim | February 14, 2006 at 01:18 PM

I DIG your tenacity!

Posted by: Jenn | February 22, 2006 at 09:41 AM

If you want to convince someone, being rational is very important. It is a sincere advice for you.
You are making all the people who visited this blog really scornfull of you and your so called 'Dokto-claim'(Liancort island issue).

Posted by: N | April 19, 2006 at 12:55 PM

Russia and Korea invaded and attacked to Japanese islands half a century ago. Korea shot at Japanner and abducted a lot of Japanese and demanded ransom money.
However, curiously the Japanese self-defense force avoids fighting because the Japanese Constitution prohibits war.

Posted by: JJ | June 23, 2006 at 03:45 AM

Thursday, February 2, 2006

Song Hye Kyo, you whore!

Luvulongtime_1Apparently, Korean actress Song Hye Kyo has a secret life: massaging
and jerking off middle-aged men in Denver. Not only that, but
she might actually be Chinese!

Here is the evidence: Hye Kyo's picture in the add for 'Chinese Sweetheart Full Body Relaxation Massage.'

Heh heh...'full body'...heh heh heh....

Now, before you dial that number, I should let you know that there is a slight chance that Hye Kyo does not actually work the night shift in a Denver massage parlor. The good people at Naver who broke this very important story suggest that some evil people just used her picture without her knowledge. Why would they do such a thing? The noble netizen reporter conducted what was obviously an in depth and exhaustive interview with Netizen experts (who else?), and had the following to report:

사진을 돌려본 네티즌들은 “어이없다”거나 “한류 열풍 때문에 우리 배우들이 유명해지면서 이런 낯뜨거운 일도 일어나고 있다”면서 불쾌한 감정을 숨기지 않고 있다.

'Netizens seeing the picture could not hide their unpleasant feelings and said it was shocking or that through our actresses becoming famous through the Korean Wave, these kinds of low things are happening.'

Ah yes, more backlash against the mighty Korean Wave that continues to rock all of our worlds (whether we are aware of it or not). They fail to mention, however, that if this were a result of the mighty Korean Wave, why would they refer to Hye Kyo as Chinese?

Funny thing is, though, when I glanced through the comments to this article to see for myself the fury of the Netizens, I found more Netizens pointing out that sleaze merchants in Korea do the same thing
with Japanese stars (ever wonder where those women who grace those
small cards you see stuck in windshield wipers and laying on the street
in entertainment districts come from?). A few even questioned why this
was headline news at Naver.

Hmmm...not another case of uber-patriotic reporters at Naver trying in vain to stir up anti-foreigner sentiment, is it?

And what did Song Hye Kyo's camp have to say about this scandal?

송혜교 소속사 사이더스HQ의 한 관계자는 “황당하지만 대응할 가치조차 느끼지 못할 정도로 수준 낮은 광고에 불과하다”고 말했다.

"We are confused by this, but this is nothing more than a base advertisement that we don't feel is worthy of a response."

Well put. Makes you wonder why the good people at Naver didn't come to the same conclusion themselves and just not even report on this at all, does it not?

As for me, I'm not going to jump to any premature conclusions until all the evidence is in.  Didn't you notice that Song Hye Kyo's camp did NOT deny anything? Very, very, very suspicious if you ask me. Until I am presented proof that Song Hye Kyo does NOT work in a Denver massage parlor, I am going to keep an open mind on this one. Who knows? Now with the screen quota being weakened, maybe this is what Korean actresses have to do to make ends meet?

In the true spirit of Naver style journalism, I conducted my own extensive research on this case and came up with the following evidence for all to seriously consider.


Here's a picture of Song Hye Kyo with some unidentified man. As of yet, Song Hye Kyo has not confirmed nor denied that this picture may have in fact been taken at a Denver massage parlor.

Here is further incriminating evidence. Might this be Hye Kyo out on the streets of Denver, looking to bring in some customers? That certainly does not look like any street in Korea I've ever been on.
Songhyekyo2syujinaHere's Hye Kyo in what might be an advertisement for McDonald's. If she is willing to whore herself out to McDonald's and eat a Big Mac for money, what would she NOT do for money?

4meandskyblueNow what exactly does 'celebritatio' mean? Might this be just a Konglish combination of 'celebrity' and 'felatio'?

C0337_59Here are a few pictures of what Hye Kyo looks like when she's not (allegedly) rubbing oil over old
white guys with comb-overs and Asian men who want a break from blonde big-boobed white prostitutes. Jyt11221020_693397mchs25

I don't have any stupid comment to add to this picture, but aren't you glad I added this picture anyway? Let's just call her 'Girl Thursday'.

Thanks again to Naver for seeing to it that the Korean youth are properly informed on the major news events of the day.

And mad props to me for making sure expats everywhere do not miss these kinds of important stories either.

Comments on original post

gimme a reacharound Song Hickey-yo i wanna make Korean wave

Posted by: The Incredible Mr. Limpet | February 02, 2006 at 04:40 PM

That final pic of the lass must be her Lindsay Lohan look.

Which reminds me-- how many Korean women aged 18-38 are bulimic?


Posted by: Kevin Kim | February 03, 2006 at 06:04 AM

Mad props to you indeed.

And Kevin, I think you meant to say "how many Korean women aged 18-38 aren't bulimic?"

Posted by: Nomad | February 04, 2006 at 01:34 AM

But hey - "how many American women 18-50+ aren't obese?"

Posted by: Leone | February 04, 2006 at 02:55 AM

Leone has a point. If the choice is between snapping a woman in half or getting crushed between massive fat rolls, I'll choose snapping any day.


Posted by: Kevin Kim | February 04, 2006 at 04:45 AM


I think you meant to say "how many American women of any age aren't obese?" or better yet, "how many Americans aren't obese?"

*Disclaimer - the reply to Kevin was a joke. Korean 'em, love 'em, yes I do.

Posted by: Nomad | February 04, 2006 at 02:03 PM

Bulimia is just a women's way of telling us guys that they think the world of us and would do anything for our acceptance and approval. I just don't know where American women went wrong...

Posted by: scott | February 04, 2006 at 05:39 PM


You're a bit late for Christmas with the new color scheme. Or are you going for a more "One Free Korea"-ish look?

The Konglishie motto rocks.


Posted by: Kevin Kim | February 05, 2006 at 04:47 AM

It's free whether you like Korea or not, but do not blame unrelated people with
dirty means.

Posted by: Umbrial | February 19, 2006 at 02:40 AM

who ever wrote this nonsense news.....
YOu need to get a life and stop stalking on people...Nobody wants to read this shit.....get a hobby....write about trees or somehting if you have nothing good to say about anyone...What's the difference? jeezzzz....rumors...rumors, rumors,

Posted by: me | February 24, 2006 at 04:07 AM

whoever you are asshole!!!! you don't even know song hye kyo! DUH! for heaven's sake! Asian Women don't want White Americans! too ugly for us!!!!DUH!!!! You're so D-U-H with an "!!!!". Get a life!!!!Where too much "Good" for them...and for you...hahaha! FREAK!

Posted by: F*CK YaAH BiAtCh! | February 24, 2006 at 07:04 AM

iS dAt trUe ?! !?

Posted by: ChikO _ san | February 27, 2006 at 02:09 AM

whoever wrote this is a frkn idiot!! Get a life! Song Hye Kyo wouldnt do this kind of're a RETARD!

Posted by: azn_master766 | March 24, 2006 at 04:29 AM

Who wrote this????It's a bunch of bulshit!The writer is an idiot!

Posted by: MiNim3 | March 24, 2006 at 04:32 AM

Finally, some commenters who realize that this post is absolutely 100% serious and in no way just a silly joke. If I had a million dollars, I would bet every penny of it that Song Hye Kyou can be found, right now as you read this, in a sleazy massage parlor jerking off old men. Just look at the evidence! Stop denying the clear and obvious truth!

Posted by: partypooper | March 24, 2006 at 05:15 AM

Good stuff. The previous comments absolutely kill me. "You don't even know Song Hye-kyo." Hahahaha! After this story, I think we must all admit that none of us really knew her. At least this side of her. :-)

By the way, I think you might truly be on to something with that Konglish phrase.

Posted by: Iceberg | March 25, 2006 at 05:13 PM

hei..anyway aLL i caN say is your such a nice persOn..

Posted by: jesa | May 03, 2006 at 11:09 PM

anyway may i ask who is your bf as of now?please contact me: +639068068778

luv u...mwaahh

Posted by: jesa | May 03, 2006 at 11:12 PM

i dont believe that song hye kyo is any of this thing that you people are on about. the first photo of her and the guy is one of her shots that were taken wen she was photo taking. if you people dont liek hye kyo just get over it man. but theres no use baggin her when all your stories are bc. the second photo is just a ramdom that was taken by a fan. omg yu people are soo sad. dont judge her if you dont know her.

Posted by: fcuk_ | May 15, 2006 at 03:51 AM

jsut stop of this bs rumours.

Posted by: fcuk | May 15, 2006 at 03:55 AM

jsut stop of this bs rumours.

Posted by: fcuk | May 15, 2006 at 03:55 AM

lizzen UR sooo bad don be judge if song hye kyo jerk off old guy OMG stut jop of dis BS ROOMER OMG who is gay? RU gay? no corea gay and song hye kyo no take doggy style hardcore DP bondage anal etc etc

Sorry Mr. Pooper, I couldn't resist.

Posted by: Giant Panda | May 15, 2006 at 04:32 AM


Sometimes I wonder about the literacy skills of our dear Kyopo high school kiddies.

Posted by: partypooper | May 15, 2006 at 06:00 AM

"Sometimes I wonder about the literacy skills of our dear Kyopo high school kiddies."

Beats me too, partypooper. Geez, what a lame attempt to pass themselves off as 'leet' English speaking kids, when in fact it only makes them sound like they were scraped from the bottom of the barrel in some third-class hagwon or something.

BTW, nice pics there. Them nice Kyopo kids have a point: we DON'T know who she is. (yeah, like hell these kids do).

Posted by: littlebrownasian | May 15, 2006 at 09:32 PM